Her name was Aleigh.
I learned that when they called her name over the loudspeakers.
She stood and waved her red and gold pom poms in the air,
tassels sparkling and smile as wide as the football field we stood on.
My friend dug her elbow into my side.
She reminded me that we were both cheerleaders,
cheering for opposing teams.
But, most importantly,
we were both girls.
Aleigh consumed my thoughts anyway.
Her voice had boomed all the way from across the field,
blonde ponytail cascading down her neck and swinging to and fro.
And I couldn’t help but be charmed by her enthusiasm for her team.
So, I looked her up on Instagram.
A million misspellings and profile stalkings later, I found her.
I found something else, too; one that made my heart sink all the way to my toes.
A Bible verse in her bio and a cross next to her name.
The tears wouldn’t stop flowing for the next hour,
which was completely ridiculous,
because I didn’t even know Aleigh.
Somehow, though, in the midst of my sobs,
my thumb hit the follow button.
I didn’t even notice that I had followed her, until
my phone vibrated beneath my fingertips,
and face ID barely accepted the mascara streaming down my cheeks.
Only to reveal to me a follow request.
From Aleigh.
I took another hour to accept,
not wanting to seem too eager,
but my eyes were fixed on the clock the entire time I waited.
And then I accepted.
Aleigh and I spent the next few weeks DM-ing.
She was as bubbly and bright as she was on the field.
My phone, no matter the hour, was constantly blowing up with videos from her.
She didn’t waste any time in getting to know me, jumping into my mind like it was a cold plunge.
And I couldn’t help what happened next.
I couldn’t help the way I would constantly swipe up to see if she had sent me an otter video
or the way blood rushed to my cheeks when she sent a Snap of her sticking her tongue out
or even the way I called her a few times a week to play Minecraft and check on our sheep.
I couldn’t help but fall in love.
It was a mistake to fall in love with Aleigh.
It weighed on my heart, putting a draining pressure on my chest,
staying from the moment I was startled by the new sun’s rays,
to the moment the moon bid me good night.
I had to tell her eventually,
and I made the wrong choice by picking sooner instead of later.
That day, February eleventh, will forever be
the worst day of my life.
Aleigh’s face twisted in horror when my hand brushed hers as I handed her the letter.
She stared at me, those cheeks I adored flushing red,
soft lips I had fantasized about pursed into a thin line,
and delicate nose scrunched in disgust.
It turns out, Aleigh wasn’t as open-hearted as I thought.
She also had a boyfriend,
one on the football team, if that makes it any more ironic.
Muscular and tall and possessing parts that I clearly lacked.
And as the messages and stories and DM’s flooded in of my public outing,
I realized,
never love a girl with a cross in her bio,
or pom poms on her hands.