D. Gonzales, “The Full Cycle”
Your crib is lined with silk,
Your life begins as the planet wilts.
You need to rest, you need to sleep.
You are the thing in my life I intend to keep.
You find ease in my voice, you no longer cry,
As I sing you my Lazarus Lullaby.
You’ve started talking in your sleep,
Babbling new words as the monsters creep.
You’ve started to whisper ‘mom’
As you press your cheek against my palm.
I hope one day you will learn to fly.
You quietly listen to my Lazarus Lullaby.
You refuse to fall asleep and bounce around the room,
Your laughter disregarding the world’s eternal gloom.
You hug me tight, and I hug you back.
When the lights turn off, your room goes black.
You have many questions; your favorite word is ‘why’.
You constantly interrupt my Lazarus Lullaby.
You let go of my hand, I’ve lost your kindred spirit.
Was I foolish to think I didn’t have a reason to fear it?
You hide in your room, you talk with your friends,
I try to see you before your time with me ends.
You tell me you’re grown up and that childhood dies.
You quietly forget my Lazarus Lullaby.
A house is a ghost without the people that make it whole.
You were my light, my whimsy, my soul.
You promise to call; you say your number won’t change.
I can’t wait for the stories you’ll be willing to exchange.
I sit on the porch; the house lets out a sad sigh
As I sing to myself my Lazarus Lullaby.
You met a woman under the stars,
Said she loved you from Earth to Mars.
She has the looks and the voice of a dream,
You vow to each other as my tears start to stream.
An angel with a song that lifts you up high,
As you sing in harmony my Lazarus Lullaby.
Your daughter is as much of a gift as you were.
Cooing softly; I’d do anything for her.
A caressed angel that one day shall take flight,
A single beam of light in the darkness of night.
You cradle her gently as her tears start to dry,
Singing to her my Lazarus Lullaby.
I’ve thought about death lately;
I don’t know what’s gotten into me.
I fear missing the now, but I can’t stop looking ahead.
I’ve always focused on you, but now I feel the knock of the dead.
I look back at old photos, and ask myself why?
As the walls echo my Lazarus Lullaby.
I am now gone,
You no longer bring yourself up at dawn.
You stare half asleep out the window at noon,
Waiting to join me; you know that it’s soon.
Your feet at the edge of my grave as you say your goodbyes.
With no one left to sing you my Lazarus Lullaby.