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By: Elizabeth Baseley

 

EXT. PARK – AFTERNOON

Three old men, EGG, MOOT and POTEET sit on a bench.

 

EGG

What a fine day. How are you feeling Moot?

 

POTEET

Very nice.

 

MOOT

He was asking me, dickweed.

 

POTEET

No, I would not like more popcorn.

 

MOOT glares at POTEET. POTEET smiles at him.

 

MOOT

I had a rough morning.

 

EGG

Pray tell.

 

MOOT

I burnt my house down while making cereal.

 

POTEET

I love cotton candy!

 

MOOT

What is wrong with you?

 

EGG

Excuse you? Sir, you are being rather rude.

 

POTEET

Moot, what is your problem? Are you not smelling the same air as I? Are you not enjoying the way the sun feels upon your face?

 

MOOT

I’m sorry. I’m stressed.

 

POTEET

Straw and elephants.

 

MOOT grinds his teeth.

 

EGG

Apology accepted. You never asked how my morning is going.

 

MOOT

How is your morning?

 

EGG

Fantastic old chap! I found my favorite vest, and I got to talk to an old friend.

 

EGG winks at MOOT.POTEET begins to clap his hands in excitement.

 

POTEET

CAN WE GO SEE THE CARNIVAL?

 

MOOT and EGG do not react.

 

MOOT

Let’s take a walk.

 

EGG

Splendid idea. What are you up to nowadays?

 

MOOT

I retired last year.

 

POTEET

Round and round the horses go.

 

EGG

Where were you working?

 

MOOT

I was a CEO.

 

EGG

Well, I’m still a teacher at Oxford. It’s just rejuvenating to see those younglings grow. How’s the wife?

 

POTEET

Where they’ll stop, no one knows.

 

MOOT

I’d rather not talk about that.

 

EGG

Moot, I admit, I did have an agenda when contacting you.

 

MOOT

The divorce wasn’t that serious.

 

POTEET

They run around all night and day.

 

EGG

I’m not talking about your split.

 

MOOT

Then what?

 

POTEET

Freedom’s the price they have to pay.

 

EGG

You’re house burnt down. You got fired from your job, you lost your soulmate and… well… you overreact to everything.

 

MOOT

I don’t overreact.

 

EGG

You called me a dickwad.

 

POTEET

Carousel horses that I ride.

 

MOOT

I called Poteet a dickwad.

 

EGG

Poteet? Your brother?

 

MOOT

Yes.

 

POTEET

Who would have thought that’s where I died.

 

MOOT stops walking. He looks at POTEET again. His head is bloody and his body is see through.

 

EGG

He died last year. At the carnival?

 

MOOT

Carnival?

 

EGG

You don’t remember?

 

POTEET

Why is this fact one you dispute.

 

MOOT

I-

 

EGG

Old chap, how about we go inside. Maybe you’ve had too much fresh air.

 

MOOT

I don’t…

 

EGG leads MOOT away.

 

POTEET

Ignoring it renders your life moot.